blogging...

i forgot how nice it is to blog every day... and probably not many people read this, which is kind of nice in a way, because i feel a little more freedom to write things that are on my heart...

today the weather is supposed to hit near 80! that seems so crazy to even think about. it makes me want to put together a mix cd, pop it in my car and take a road trip. oh, wait! i am taking a mini road trip tomorrow to go see lovedrug with josh! perfect. now all i need to do is make the mix cd.

my windows by my desk are open and muse is playing on my computer. i've recently re-discovered how much i really do love that band! so good. they will be a part of my mix for sure. the only thing i don't like about them right now is how i hear them all over tv. it would be cool if they were promoting the same show, but i'm talking like 3 different shows all using their songs... enough already. haha.

i've had a very interesting morning. it all started with a weird dream about being back in israel, seeing someone and finding out they were married. i don't know that i liked that dream. it seemed all too real. but i will blame it on the fact that i read the final few chapters of eclipse last night where bella choose to marry edward. i've always related most to jabob's charatcter and so i guess my subconscious mind was relating to that. i've actually considered writing a fiction (based on a true) story about a period of time in my life, if only to have a way to remember the good memories that now seem so distant and to quite possibly find the closure i've been so desperately needing to find for my heart. i guess i thought after a few years passed the dreams would stop and my heart would have moved on... and while in many ways i have moved on (at least i've given up the dream) sometimes i wish i would have had the courage to say the things i wanted to say the last time i was in israel, but my heart was so broken that i couldn't force myself to do it, so i left and i've somewhat regretted that. i try to live my life to not regret anything, but there are a few things surrounding that time in my life that i do regret... and not about the friendship, but about the way i treated the one person that meant the world to me. maybe not having closure about that is my punishment. either way, its been on my mind a lot lately. 2 dreams in a matter of weeks will do that i guess. its been long time since its been that frequent. and i have moved on to different books, so maybe that will cause the dreams to cease again...

anyway, then i get to work and get a phone call from donnie cox. kinda threw me off a little, especially since its been a while since i thought about gospel music fest. i had kind of made up my mind to back away from things, for reasons not to be gone into detail. i suppose there is no escaping what i've put myself in the middle of though. and i really do want to be there to help the severances especially since they have done so much to get our other music fest going. here i go, back into the mix. haha. i just think it was funny timing this morning.

today is my last day of work this week and i'm super excited to have a 3 day weekend! especially with the weather looking so promising. awesome.

i've got lots to do today, so now is time to keep creating!