having your eyes opened is a great and freeing moment in life. at least that's how I feel right now. even if its not the truth you wanted to figure out, its great to not feel like I'm just being played for a fool by a bunch of guys protecting one in particular. why is it so hard for people to just be honest? what do we have to lose? its called respect. id rather be told a cold hard truth than be made a fool of.
thankfully I have a big heart. one that can take the hurts and pains and disappointments of this life and forgive those who cause them. especially the ones who are too cowardly to talk to me and be honest.
freedom. I had the word forever marked on my foot as a reminder of its beauty.
I'm learning as I grow up that love is not conditional. that to truly love means to be free. and eventhough you may not be honest with me (by consealing the truth) your actions no longer hurt me. nor do they make me hate you. I should have let you say goodbye when you tried, but I'm stubborn and wasn't ready to let go then. it needed to be on my terms. I needed to be the one to say goodbye (if only in my own heart) first.
but then you tried to cause drama again by saying I hated you. I never hated you. just needed to get over you so being friends could be a reality and not just a dream.
I will always wish the best for you and I truly hope you have found some happiness. I do find it comical that you have gone to such lengths to keep things hiden from me. at least I can laugh about it!!
kinda nice to know I can write so openly on here and that you will never read my thoughts. not that I would ever care if you did. haha!
today I finished watching season one of game of thrones!! WOW! I LOVE this show! I wish I had HBO so I could begin watching season two... guess ill play the waiting game again and read the books to bide my time. I'm starting a new summer reading list. seems like a good way to spend my evenings :)
I'm also getting back into vegan baking. I made some amazing banana blueberry bread this weekend. and can't wait to keep trying new recipes! healthy can be good!!
the older I get the more I realize how short life truly is. I'm still on a kick of doing what makes me happy. and if that means being alone forever, I'm ok with that. as long as life is full of adventure and joy and family and friends. I'm good with that.
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