happy apple poison

last night i had the weirdest dream... i was a part of the scream 4 movie, but as i was running from the one trying to get me, i noticed that i became one of the people watching the movie as well, and decided to walk out because i didn't like the movie... well trying to leave the movie was another story because once i got outside there was a man who stopped me from getting into my car and the only thing i could do to get away was to run back into the theater. but by this time the theater was over run by zombies and it was all any one could do to stay away from them... i was awoken by my alarm somewhere in the middle of trying to get away.

seems that my dreams are becoming more theatrical again, instead of just me hanging out with people. i've hung out with some interesting people in my dreams lately too.. james franco, for one. haha. and that was before i watched the movie 127 hours, which by the way was a brutally great movie. there were parts that i just couldn't watch, but the artistry and the way they told the story were in my opinion brilliant.

i'm thinking it would be kinda fun to keep a dream journal, just to see how crazy the worlds are in which i escape to when my body is sleeping...

i'm listening to beach house and it seems kind of perfect for this gloomy rainy day, which makes me happy today. i do like a good rainy day, and right now it seems to reflect the mood in my heart. and not that that is a bad thing, i'm not depressed or anything like that, just appreciating the grey clouds and rain. and hopefully there will be a thunderstorm or two thrown into the mix.

my thoughts and prayers are with all of those who have been caught in the path of all these storms and destruction. maybe we are closer to the end that i would like to believe...

so much to do this week as we prepare for kick-off... but its nice to get away from my computer now and then. its like preparing for a big party! and i suppose in a way that is true because we are celebrating 100 years at Bay Shore.

head down...

more than half-way through the month of april and its still snowing. a part of me is beginning to think that spring and summer are never going to arrive. its kind of a depressing thought, but i'm finding it hard to believe otherwise. i suppose this is where having a little faith in God and the changing of the seasons comes in.

i've been noticing my dreams again lately. the other night i even remember dreaming within my dreams. its been awhile since that happened. and i'm sure it was sparked by seeing that it was nicky alice's birthday, and being reminded of him... but i think part of it is just sparked from my curiosity of dreams. what if our dreams were really windows into a spirit world parallel to us that we can only visit when we are asleep. to me it kind of melds the thoughts of a parallel universe in which we all have doubles and the spiritual realm all around us. (yes, fringe is to thank for some of these thoughts)

i'm sure our dreams are just the bi-products of our imaginations and the capacity of our mind to create new worlds in which time, space and gravity seem to hold no sway. but ever since my dad told me about a book he read, i've been intrigued by thoughts about what our dreams really are.

i find that when i miss my friends i often dream about hanging out with them. these are the dreams that seem so real, i have to remind myself they never happened when i wake up.

sometimes i wonder how to account for the people in my dreams that i've never seen before. do we make them up in our mind by combining elements of those we have seen, or do we really see other people we have just not met yet.

i'm not really sure why my mind is thinking all of these thoughts lately. haha.

listening to more lovedrug today. i really can't wait until i can hear the finished product of their cd! and i hear they are releasing a cover album too! so awesome. can't wait for that one either.

two more days of work this week and then a 4 day weekend! i am so looking forward to this. getting to play the easter bunny is always fun, however, if the weather doesn't warm up a bit, its going to be a cold egg hunt.

thieving

grey skies all around. looks like more rain. our first thunderstorms of the season came last night around 3am. definitely woke me up... i get excited over storms. its beautiful to watch nature at work, even when it can be destructive.

hopefully this will be a turning point for spring!

i am almost finished with harry potter and the goblet of fire. and then i can check one more book off my list from two summers ago. i know, i'm such a slow reader, but i started the list the summer i did not live at camp, then last summer there was no time for anything like that - i barely even watched movies... this summer however, i plan to spend a bit more time away from camp when i'm not working and thus, read more books while enjoying beautiful summer sunshine and warm breezes!

strange heart

i killed a bird with my car on the way to work today... and 4 more came close to the same fate. i've had many near misses, but this is the first one in a long time that actually couldn't get out of the way. i'm not sure what it is about my car, or the way i drive that seems to attract birds to be daring and fly out in front of me, but they do... the one difference i noticed today though, was my reaction. usually, it doesn't bother me, but today it did. and then it made me think of how we kill animals just for our own eating pleasure and it made me a bit sad... not only that i had killed the bird, but that so many animals die because we don't care.

i've been a vegetarian for around 10 years or so... and i don't have any problems with people who eat meat, its just for me over the course of not eating meat, i've discovered in myself that i would have a hard time eating anything now that was once alive... except for fish. for some reason, i don't think the same about fish. haha.

its been interesting to see how my mind set changes. and i would still say that i'm a veg because its a much healthier way to eat, and not because of animal rights or anything like that.

i do enjoy the challenge of creating healthier desserts and meals. this weekend i will make some more cookies - hopefully trying another new recipe.

i think i will also enjoy a nice weekend baking, reading my harry potter book, doing some shopping and treating myself to the new jake gyllenhaal movie, source code. and of course, watching amazing race with my family on sunday.

im finding that there is a lot on my mind lately... i should journal it out, but i just can't bring myself to write about it, in any form. maybe this weekend.

i suppose, i just need to let go and place it all in God's hands and not worry so much about what i should or shouldn't have done differently. we can't go back and change the past, the trouble i sometimes have is letting go and moving on. there are sooo many things to be thankful for in my life right now. great friends, great family and a great job.

i took a walk around the camp this morning placing brochures in our buildings and its getting me excited for this summer! especially baseball/softball camp!

i'm glad its the weekend. and i can't wait to put up our screen tent and to plant our garden (two things i missed out on last summer)