It's been a while since I just went out with a friend and hung out. It seems I'm always waiting for the one that can never seem to fit it into their schedule instead of realizing that God has given me a great friend already who likes to hang out and go on adventures with me. I am very blessed to have a friend such as you.
It's also been a while since I felt happy. There is so much going on in my life, and a lot of it isn't easy to go through, but I know what is coming will be worth every minute of struggle that i face right now, especially the struggles I face daily in my own heart.
This weekend was just what I needed to have some fun and hang out and focus on where my heart is being drawn. I think a part of my struggles are coming from the fact that my heart is divided into 2 very separate places. This weekend I asked God to make it undivided. And suddenly the vision that I had been asking for started to flow out. I suppose its true that you can't live with a divided heart for too long before you have to make a choice. I have made my choice, now I'm just waiting on the Lord to bring it to pass. Its still going to be hard, but I will make it, and good things will come from it, because I am following the path that God has laid out before my feet. He is giving me just enough light to see a couple feet ahead of me. To know the direction I'm headed, but to still have to trust Him to get there.
I never saw myself going in this direction, but how can I question what the Lord is doing? I just have to trust and follow Him.
I can tell things are different around here. No one seems to notice if I'm in my corner or not... So, I'm just going to silently do my work every day, and know that even in all of this there is a purpose. Maybe it will do me some good be alone here, to be on the outside. All I want is YOU Jesus.
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