its gonna be a perfect day...

...say the word and ill run away with you :) such a great adventure. sad it came to an end today. but looking forward to seeing cody and the wedding boys in a week! seeing lovedrug was great! it makes me so happy to see them live and getting to hang out with them and get to know them makes me love them all the more! such a great bunch of guys!! can't wait to see them all again! seeing katie and dave and debbie was super great as well. I really am blessed with some great friends :) getting rid of you was the best thing! and finding that adventurous wild blooded girl I once w was has brought me back to a place of happiness and balance. sometimes I guess it just takes holding on to what's real and good and freeing yourself of the falseness. so blessed to be having these opportunities to just live!

dinosaur

sun shines thru my window reminding me that its going to be a beautifl day! one more day off and two more days of work before my next adventure begins. Chicago, I will see you Tuesday! its funny how once adventure gets back into your blood how its had to stop it. I was born to live free. to be a little crazy and impulsive. afterall, they say I have some gypsy blood running in my veins :) last night I had a dream I was at a lovedrug show.... woke up though before I saw any of them. that makes twice this week. only the previous dream I actually saw them play and hung out with them. I love that new adventures mean finding good food too! I could definitely go for thai or middle eastern. this refound independence is great! and I'm very thankful to have a job with flexibility. I guess I never realized how much life camp sucked out of me. how in a place where I should have flet open to completely be myself I found myself hiding from what truly makes me happy. for as much as I loved camp itself, I don't miss the way people were treated or continue to be treated. I know I'm not perfect and that I made mistakes while I was there, and I actually find it funny that I lost my job there because I was friends with a boy! and yet getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me! it just took me awhile to see it. I am refinding myself. I am no longer being held down by the weight of all the darkness that hung over the office. I can breathe again! I can go to a job were I'm not stressed out, where I'm not wondering each day when its going to be my last and I have a life again! hanging out with friends and family. I am so looking forward to spending a summer enjoying some free time instead of working so many hours that it takes me months to recover once summer is over. I thought I would miss camp as it got closer, but the truth is I'm happy to be gone. maybe one day people will start to care for each other again and learn to truly love. and I can go back and enjoy the things I once loved. now back to this new adventure...

great divide

sometimes you just need a rainy day. and to sleep in as long as you can. both can be beautiful things. finally able to let you go. holding on was like poison to my soul. and with the rain, you've been washed away never to have hold on me again. breathe in the free air. let the healing run in my veins and purify my heart once again. next time I won't fall for lies. 6 months to realize the truth. no more being used. feels great to be free. I really wish I could go and see lovedrug again soon! their music is one of the few things in this world that always makes me happy!! but it seems there is no adventure working out to make that possible :(

story of my life: girl meets boy. boy makes girl think he is interested. girl believes boy. girl and boy start talking. boy uses girl. girl gets hurt. so.... I give up. I don't think I will ever be able to believe a guy will truly be interested in anything more than a one night stand. what sucks is that they say all the right things to make you believe, yet its all just a lie. and if you fall for the lie, you get used and hurt. what I wouldn't give for just once to have a guy who acts interested to really be interested. I I can't take it anymore. my heart longs for someone to love and care for. I'm tired of fake friendships.

premonition

frankie's take 2: nothing makes me more happy than finally getting to know the guys in my favorite band- LOVEDRUG. its funny that I've been listening to their music for over 10 years, and yet I'm just now talking to them. its so great to know that the guys are just as amazing as thir music!! seeing them again was awesome. I love their new songs live! they played a perfect set, which included bloodlike and in red! as well as wild blood and anodyne. hanging out with jmg was definitely the highlight. :) unfortunately my work schedule kept us from hanging out as much as we would have liked... hoping one day soon to be able to make up for that. its great to be free of that one person and to finally say my heart has seen something better and is not about to go back. with each passing day since toledo I find it easier and easier to to move on. soon the past 6 months will be nothing more than a fading memory. he will just be a memory of a bad mistake. one I do not wish to repeat. I'm happy and free. full of life and love and so looking forward to my next adventure!