yep, been listening to way too much alevela lately. i've found that their music sparks creativity when i'm creating brochures for work though. weird, i know. haha.
so my last post was from a very dark place in my feelings. since then i've had a great weekend and wanted to write something on a more positive note.
sometimes we have to look beyond ourselves to see that the darkness we find ourselves in is only temporary and that we have the choice to dwell in it or to move into the light. i suppose that's a part of learning to trust God again. Its often when we are walking in darkness that He is the closest to us, only we can't sense him around us. I take comfort in that thought, that even if i can't see where i'm going, He is leading my steps and eventually there will be light to my path again and i will be able to step into the full warmth of the sun and see where i have wandered while in the dark.
with so many uncertainties surrounding, i can still find hope that God is and has always been in control and even if i can't see how things are going to end, or where He is leading me, I know that for this time and this moment, I am where i need to be, i am surrounded by a loving family that supports me, i am working for a camp that i love, and i have some of the best friends ever.
the loneliness i suppose is just stronger felt right now because i am being lead along a solitary path. maybe that's the way God wants it right now, and so i am trying hard to be thankful even in the midst of feeling alone...
would i change the past if i still had time? probably not. my past is my past. its made me who i am today. the only thing i would change is valuing the people that have come and gone in my life more and thinking of myself less.
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